Costs & options · 11 min read

Burial or cremation: how to choose

The decision most families find hardest. A plain comparison of cost, practicality, faith, and what each option means years later — plus real Bexley figures.

Published 2026-07-30

Last reviewed 2026-08-04

For most families this is the first real decision, and the one people feel least equipped to make. It is rarely a simple matter of money. Burial and cremation carry different meanings, different practical consequences, and very different long-term costs — and if the person who died left no clear instruction, the choice falls to those left behind at the worst possible moment.

This guide lays out both options honestly: what each involves, what each costs, and the questions that tend to settle the matter one way or the other.

Start with what was wanted, if anything was said

A funeral wish written in a will is not legally binding in England and Wales, but it is almost always followed. If the person expressed a clear preference — in a will, a prepaid plan, a letter, or simply a remark made often enough that the whole family remembers it — that preference should carry the day. It removes the burden of choosing, and it protects the family from second-guessing itself for years afterwards.

Where there is no instruction, the person legally responsible for arranging the funeral is usually the executor of the will, or the nearest relative if there is no will. In practice most families reach a decision together, and a good funeral director will help mediate rather than push.

The short version

What burial costs

Burial has two costs that cremation does not: you are buying an exclusive right of burial in a plot of land, and you are paying separately for the grave to be dug and the person interred. On top of that, most families later buy a headstone or memorial, which is a third cost and often a surprising one.

In the London Borough of Bexley, Hillview Cemetery is the only site still open for new earthen burials. Bexley sells the exclusive right of burial as a lease for a fixed term rather than in perpetuity. At the time of writing the borough's resident rates were around £2,320 for a 30-year lease and £3,814 for a 50-year lease, with non-resident rates up to three times higher. Interment fees, memorial permits and any additional depth are charged on top.

So a burial in Bexley commonly lands somewhere in the region of £5,000 to £7,000 all in once the funeral director's fees, the grave, the interment and a modest memorial are counted. The SunLife Cost of Dying Report 2026 puts the UK average simple attended funeral at £3,828 and the London average at around £4,897 — but those averages are pulled down by the far larger number of cremations.

The grave lease question people miss

Because Bexley grants a lease rather than permanent ownership, the exclusive right of burial expires. It can normally be renewed, and the remains are not disturbed, but somebody has to remember to renew it — often a generation later. If a lasting family place matters to you, ask specifically how long the lease runs, what renewal will cost, and who will be contacted when it expires.

This is also why an existing family grave is often the deciding factor. If there is already a plot with space remaining and a valid lease, burial may be both cheaper and more meaningful than starting again. Ask the cemetery to check the burial register — you will need the grave number and the deed holder's details.

What cremation costs

Cremation avoids buying land, which is why it is consistently cheaper. Cremations arranged in Bexley are usually carried out at Eltham Crematorium, known locally as Falconwood, operated by the Royal Borough of Greenwich (telephone 020 8921 6700).

At the time of writing an attended cremation there — a booked chapel slot with mourners present — was in the region of £1,270 to £1,300, while an unattended or direct cremation slot could be as low as around £250. Those are the crematorium's own fees only; your funeral director's charges sit on top. Fees are reviewed each April.

If cost is the driving concern, read our guide to direct cremation, which explains exactly what the cheapest option includes and what you give up.

What happens on the day

The practical experience differs more than people expect, and it is worth picturing before you decide.

A burial

There is usually a service — in a church, a chapel, or at the graveside — followed by the committal at the grave itself. Mourners stand outside, often for fifteen or twenty minutes. Weather matters. Ground can be uneven and access for wheelchairs or the frail is sometimes difficult. Many people find the graveside committal the most powerful part of the day; others find it the hardest. There is no fixed time limit in the way a crematorium slot imposes one.

A cremation

The service takes place in the crematorium chapel in a booked slot, commonly 30 or 45 minutes including arrival and departure. It is warm, seated, and accessible, which matters if mourners are elderly. But the slot is firm — running long is genuinely awkward, and a long eulogy plus three hymns plus a tribute video will not fit into half an hour. If you want a fuller service, book a double slot or hold the main service at a church first.

Afterwards: a grave versus ashes

This is the part families underestimate, and often the part that ends up mattering most.

A grave gives you a fixed, permanent place with a name on it. People visit on birthdays and anniversaries. It is shared — anyone can go. That permanence is a comfort to many and an obligation to some, particularly if the family later moves away from the area.

Ashes give you choice, which is both a freedom and a decision to make. You can:

• Have them interred in a cemetery plot or ashes garden, giving you a marked place to visit at far lower cost than a full grave
• Place them in a niche or columbarium at the crematorium
• Scatter them somewhere that mattered to the person — with the landowner's permission, and, on water, using common sense about location
• Keep them at home, divide them between family members, or have a portion made into jewellery or glass
• Do nothing for a while — ashes can be held at the crematorium or funeral director for months while you decide

That last point is genuinely useful. There is no deadline. Families who feel unable to decide in the first weeks often find the right answer six months later.

Faith and cultural requirements

For many families this is not a preference but a requirement, and it settles the question immediately.

• Islam requires burial, normally as soon as possible and without cremation. Timing is urgent and some funeral directors specialise in meeting it.
• Judaism requires burial in traditional practice, usually within 24 hours where possible.
• Orthodox Christianity strongly prefers burial.
• Hinduism and Sikhism require cremation.
• Roman Catholicism permits cremation, though the Church asks that ashes be interred in a sacred place rather than scattered or divided.
• Most Protestant denominations accept either without restriction.

If faith requirements apply, say so at the very first conversation with a funeral director. It affects timing, paperwork, coffin choice and which crematorium or cemetery can be used.

Questions that usually settle it

1. Did they say what they wanted?

   If yes, that is normally the answer. Stop here.

2. Is there a faith requirement?

   If yes, it decides the matter and shapes the timing too.

3. Is there an existing family grave with space?

   If yes, burial may be both cheaper and more meaningful. Ask the cemetery to check the register.

4. Does the family need a place to visit?

   If a fixed, shared, permanent place matters, burial or interred ashes. If not, cremation gives more freedom.

5. What can the family genuinely afford?

   Be honest early. A burial you cannot pay for creates a debt that outlasts the grief. See our guide to help with funeral costs.

6. Compare real, published prices

   Every UK funeral director must publish a Standardised Price List. Compare at least three before committing.

Comparing costs locally

Since the Competition and Markets Authority's Funerals Market Investigation Order came into force in 2021, every funeral director in the UK must publish a Standardised Price List showing the cost of an attended funeral, an unattended funeral and key individual items, in a set format. That was introduced precisely because families were not shopping around.

You are allowed to compare, and you should. Our directory of funeral directors sets out attended and direct cremation prices side by side for firms serving the Bexley area, so you can see the spread before you pick up the phone. If you want help judging the firms themselves, read how to choose a funeral director.

The bottom line

Cremation is cheaper, more flexible, easier for elderly mourners, and gives you time to decide what to do afterwards. Burial costs more and involves a lease you will need to think about again one day, but it gives a permanent, shared place with a name on it — and for some faiths and some families, nothing else will do.

Neither is the better choice in the abstract. Answer the six questions above in order and the right answer for your family usually becomes obvious.