Practical steps · 12 min read
How to choose a funeral director
Most families ring one firm and accept the first quote. Here's how to compare properly, what the law says they must tell you, and the 21 questions that reveal a good firm from a bad one.
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Most people choose a funeral director in a single phone call, on the worst week of their lives, based on a name they half-remember seeing on a high street. The Competition and Markets Authority found exactly that when it investigated the industry: families were not comparing, prices varied enormously for the same service, and almost nobody complained.
You are allowed to take a day. You are allowed to ring three firms. You are allowed to ask for a written quote and say no. This guide explains how to do that quickly and without feeling rude.
First: you have more time than you think
There is no legal deadline for arranging a funeral in England and Wales. The death must be registered within five days (eight in Scotland), and a funeral director will normally collect the person within hours if asked — but appointing a funeral director and agreeing a plan are separate things. Collection does not commit you to anything.
If the hospital, care home or police have already involved a funeral director, that firm is not automatically yours. You can change, and reputable firms will hand over without argument. If you are not sure what happens in the first few days, start with what to do when someone dies.
The Standardised Price List — your best tool
Since the CMA's Funerals Market Investigation Order 2021, every funeral director in the UK is legally required to publish a Standardised Price List. It must be displayed prominently in the premises and on the firm's website, in a set format, so that families can genuinely compare like with like.
It must show, as a minimum:
- The price of an attended funeral — a funeral with mourners present — broken down into its components
- The price of an unattended funeral (direct cremation)
- Prices for individual items and services, so you can see what removing something saves
- The cost of collecting and caring for the person, including out of hours
- Additional charges such as mileage beyond a set radius, extra bearers, or transport outside normal hours
If a firm cannot show you this list, or the version on the website is out of date or buried, that tells you something about how they operate. If they publish it clearly and talk you through it, that tells you something too.
Understand the two halves of a quote
Every funeral quote splits into the funeral director's own fees and disbursements — money they collect on your behalf and pass on. Disbursements typically include the crematorium or cemetery fee, the doctor's or medical examiner's paperwork where applicable, the minister or celebrant's fee, and the death certificate copies.
This matters because two quotes can look wildly different simply because one includes disbursements and the other does not. Always ask: is this the total I will pay, including everything you pass on?
| Element | Who sets it | Can you shop around? |
|---|---|---|
| Funeral director's professional fee | The funeral director | Yes — this is where the variation is |
| Coffin | The funeral director | Yes — ask to see the full range, not just the display |
| Hearse and limousines | The funeral director | Yes — you can reduce or remove limousines |
| Crematorium or cemetery fee | The crematorium or council | Only by choosing a different venue or an off-peak slot |
| Celebrant or minister | The celebrant | Yes |
| Flowers, order of service, catering | Third parties | Yes — often much cheaper arranged yourself |
Independent, chain-owned, or online?
Britain's funeral industry looks more local than it is. Many long-established family names on high streets were bought by large groups years ago and kept their original signage. That is not automatically bad — but it is worth knowing who you are dealing with.
Local independents
Usually family-run, often across generations, with their own premises and mortuary. Strengths: the person stays in local care, you deal with the same faces throughout, and the firm's reputation in the area is its entire livelihood. Weaknesses: smaller firms may have less out-of-hours cover, and prices are not automatically lower.
Chain-owned firms
Part of a national group. Strengths: consistent processes, robust out-of-hours capacity, formal complaints procedures. Weaknesses: the person may be transferred to a central hub some distance away, and staff you meet may not be the staff on the day. Ask directly: is this firm independently owned, and if not, who owns it? They must answer honestly.
Online fixed-price providers
Mostly focused on direct cremation, sold at a fixed national price arranged over the phone or online, with local collection subcontracted. Strengths: genuinely low, transparent prices. Weaknesses: no premises to visit, collection and cremation may be far from home, and viewing the person is often not possible. See direct cremation explained for the detail.
Trade bodies and what they actually mean
Two main bodies operate in the UK: the National Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD) and the National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF). Both require members to follow a code of practice and, importantly, both offer a route to independent resolution if things go wrong.
Membership is voluntary and there is no statutory licensing of funeral directors in England. Plenty of excellent firms belong to neither body, and membership is no guarantee. But if you are choosing between two firms you know nothing about, a body you can complain to is a real advantage.
The 21 questions to ask
You will not need all of these. Print or copy the ones that matter to you and take them to the arrangement meeting.
About cost
- Can I see your Standardised Price List?
- Is this quote the total I will pay, including all disbursements?
- What exactly is included in your professional fee?
- What would I save by removing the limousines, or by choosing a simpler coffin?
- Are there extra charges for evenings, weekends, mileage, or collection outside your normal area?
- When is payment due, and do you require a deposit for third-party fees?
- What happens if the person I'm arranging for was on benefits — do you accept a Funeral Expenses Payment claim?
About care of the person
- Will they stay at your premises, or be transferred elsewhere?
- Do you have your own mortuary facilities on site?
- Can we visit, and is there a charge or a restriction on times?
- Is embalming included, is it necessary in this case, and can we decline it?
- Who will physically care for them — your own staff, or a contractor?
- How will you make sure the right person is returned to us? (A reputable firm will explain their identification procedure without hesitation.)
About the funeral itself
- How long is the crematorium or chapel slot, and what does a longer slot cost?
- Can we bring our own flowers, order of service, or music?
- Can family members act as bearers?
- Who will be our main contact, and will that person be there on the day?
- How many staff will attend?
About the firm
- Are you independently owned? If not, who owns you?
- Are you a member of the NAFD or SAIF?
- What is your complaints procedure, and who do I go to if I'm not satisfied?
Warning signs
- No written estimate, or reluctance to give a total figure
- Pressure to decide today, or the suggestion that a better coffin shows more respect
- Upselling by implication — 'most families in your position choose...'
- No Standardised Price List on the website or in the premises
- Vague answers about where the person will be kept
- Embalming presented as compulsory when it is not
- Unexplained extras appearing on the final invoice that were never in the estimate
- No named contact — a different person every time you ring
None of these are illegal in themselves. All of them are reasons to make one more phone call.
How to compare properly in one afternoon
Shortlist three firms
Use published prices as your starting point. Our directory lists attended and direct cremation prices side by side for firms serving Bexley, so you can shortlist without ringing round blind.
Decide the shape of the funeral first
Burial or cremation, attended or unattended, roughly how many mourners, and whether there is a church service. Without this, quotes are not comparable. Our guide on burial or cremation helps here.
Ask each firm for the same thing
Describe the identical funeral to all three and ask for a written estimate including disbursements. Say plainly that you are comparing quotes — it is normal and expected.
Compare the totals, then the differences
Where one is much cheaper, find out what is missing. Where one is much dearer, find out what is included. The gap is usually explainable, and occasionally it is not.
Visit if you can
Ten minutes in the premises tells you a great deal. Is it clean and calm? Are you treated well before they have your money?
Choose on trust as well as price
The cheapest quote from a firm that made you uneasy is not a saving. You only get one chance at this day.
If something goes wrong
Complain in writing to the funeral director first, setting out clearly what happened and what you want done. Most disputes are about invoices differing from estimates, and most are resolved at this stage.
If that fails, escalate to their trade body — the NAFD or SAIF — both of which operate independent resolution schemes for members. For billing disputes you can also raise the matter with Citizens Advice, and if you believe the firm has breached the CMA's price transparency requirements you can report it to the Competition and Markets Authority. If a prepaid funeral plan is involved, the provider must be FCA-regulated and you can complain to the Financial Ombudsman Service.
The short version
Ask for the Standardised Price List. Get a written total including disbursements. Ring three firms with the same brief. Ask who owns them and where the person will be kept. Then choose the one you trust, not simply the cheapest or the nearest.
You can start comparing published prices for funeral directors serving the Bexley area in our directory.
Frequently asked questions
Do funeral directors have to publish their prices?
Yes. Under the CMA's Funerals Market Investigation Order 2021, every UK funeral director must publish a Standardised Price List in a set format, both prominently in their premises and on their website. It must show the price of an attended funeral, an unattended funeral, and key individual items.
Can I change funeral director after they have collected the person?
Yes. Collection does not commit you to using that firm. You may be charged for work already carried out, such as the collection itself, but a reputable firm will transfer the person to another funeral director on request.
Are funeral directors regulated in the UK?
There is no statutory licensing of funeral directors in England, though price transparency is enforced by the CMA. Many firms voluntarily belong to the NAFD or SAIF, which impose codes of practice and offer independent complaint resolution. Prepaid funeral plans are separately regulated by the FCA.
Is embalming necessary?
Usually not. Embalming — sometimes called hygienic treatment — is generally only advisable where there will be a delay before the funeral or extended viewing. It is your choice, and you can decline it. Ask whether it is included in the quote and what removing it saves.
How many funeral directors should I get quotes from?
Three is a sensible number. Describe the same funeral to each and ask for a written estimate including disbursements. Prices for an identical funeral can vary by well over a thousand pounds between firms in the same area.
What are disbursements on a funeral invoice?
Disbursements are third-party costs the funeral director pays on your behalf and passes on without markup — typically the crematorium or cemetery fee, the celebrant or minister, medical paperwork fees where they apply, and copies of the death certificate. Always confirm whether a quoted total includes them.
Related guides
Compare funeral directors in Bexley
Find a Funeral Director is a free, independent price-comparison directory for funeral directors across the London Borough of Bexley. We publish the real Standardised Price List figures funeral directors are legally required to disclose under the CMA's Funerals Market Investigation Order 2021, so families can compare what a funeral actually costs before they make any enquiry. We take no commission and no funeral director can pay to rank higher.
Browse the full directory of Bexley funeral directors and their published prices.